


The Hot MILF Counselor

by Galaxy_Heart, ThePorcelainDoll



Category: Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (Anime & Manga), Camp Camp (Web Series), Needless, One Piece
Genre: Cults, Daniel is a MILF hunter, Daniel need sum Kool-Aid, Daniel needs sum milk, Daniel you is thirsty, Danvid, David has tits, David is Max's mom, David is a MILF, David is a mom, David is older than Daniel, F/M, Genderswap, Kool-Aid, MILFs, Max is younger, WTF, Walmart, david is a hot mom, every anime character is here, lol i did not expect this, max clock-block, max is a shit, my friend gave me the idea to put Ace in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-01-09 14:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12278445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxy_Heart/pseuds/Galaxy_Heart, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePorcelainDoll/pseuds/ThePorcelainDoll
Summary: (This is a half-assed, one shot fic so bear with me)Daniel goes shopping for some Kool-Aid and rat poison, when he spots a little kid and his hot red-haired mom....that's it(Edit: I didn't expect to get this many comments, comment below if y'all want another chapter)Also if yall REALLY want me to make this a series, you'll read my Blade and the Beast fic....pls





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let'me just point out that it's not fair if I keep getting kudos for this lazy half assed fic and nothing for my other work )-;  
> it makes me sad

 

 

 

It was a blazing hot summer Sunday here in...whatever town this takes place. The sun was basically melting every living organism alive. The concrete was so hot, you could make scrambled eggs, bacon,  and pancakes on the ground. 

Everyone was heading to Walmart to buy cold drinks, hot dogs, burgers, steak, and other stuff that people buy in the summer, even Daniel, but he was heading there for two things only....

 

Daniel was driving in his white Ferrari that was squeaky clean and cool inside. Yet, no matter how much Daniel turned up the AC, he was still sweating due to the cursed sun.

 

Daniel was a college student, who planned to get an intern at a camp as a counselor. Really any camp would do, his main goal was to poison kids and sacrificing them to the almighty Lord Lucifer.

 

The blonde teen rolled his eyes and groaned "I hate Sundays!" Most people hate Mondays but Daniel hated Sunday the most. Mostly because he knew stores like Walmart would be packed with obnoxious and rude people..especially kids..he hated kids. 

He volunteered at other camps and churches as well, and it took all his strength not to punch a snotty-nosed brat that dared to show disrespect. He was lucky that he could pull off a kind and caring person act, when in reality he wanted to send all those kids to Hell.

 

"Let's play some music! I could use a good jam" He reached for the radio and started to tune in to some music channels.

 

_"Baby, can't you see I'm calling_  
_A guy like you should wear a warning_  
_It's dangerous_  
_I'm falling"_

"Oh Boi! What a conveniently good song!" He starts to raise the volume and sang along. (He has teh voice of a cultist angel >:D)

_"Oh,_  
_The taste of your lips_  
_I'm on a ride_  
_You're toxic I'm slippin' under_  
_With a taste of a poison paradise"_

He started to rock his head back in forth like a heavy metal fan even thought the song is not that heavy metal.

.....................

He parked in the parking lot (Which was extremely hard to do since alot of people were filling up the space and parked crookedly) and carefully exited his way out to the store.

He was grateful that there was just enough room for him to wiggle his way out. Normally he would the owner of the cars and take 'drastic measures' but he really didn't have the time. Before he walked, he got a text message from a friend. He opened his phone and revealed that it was his Japanese pen-pall Kakyoin Noriaki.

He received a message, which was another picture of Holly Kujo, mother of Jotaro Kujo. Underneath the photo, it was a text message that says "See didn't I tell you she was hot?!"

Other than sacrificing children, Daniel would often hunt around for single mothers, but he had a specific type...he was a sucker for red heads, and although this woman was gorgeous, he wasn't interested in blondes. He texted back a "She thicc" and put his phone up "Maybe some day, I can settle down with a hot red-haired mom"

Daniel grabbed a shopping cart and headed his way in.

 

He sighed when he was that the entire store was crowed with people, each walking frantically, finding whatever they came looking for. Many were kids begging their parents to buy them toys and were even throwing tantrums on the floor. Daniel hoped he would never have a child ever.

 

He took out his check-list "Let's see what do I need?"

His list only had two things "Grape Kool-Aid and Rat poison" 

"Good thing I written them down, or else I would've forgotten!" He pushed his cart to the pest-extermination aisle.

.......................

David..uh I mean..Daisy (Yus dat's her name) was a Co-Counselor at CampCamp, who also happened to be at Walmart, buying snacks for her little cheerful campers with her beautiful son, Maxwell Junior.

"Sweet-Heart would you be a dear and find mommy some grape Kool-Aid?" 

Max, a nine year old rebellious boy, pulled out a cherry lollipop and looked at his mom "Go get them yourself I'm busy" He was playing Dumb-ways-to-Die on his phone.

"C'mon Maxwell we need Kool-Aid for our campers!" She tried to coax her son.

"I told you my name is Max, and why do I have to go to that stupid fuck camp? It's not even a legit camp!" He dreaded going to his mothers summer camp, he felt imprisoned surrounded by dweebs who didn't know any better.

"Hey language!"

Max continued to play his game until his mother took it away from him.

"Hey I wasn't done with that!" He tried taking it back but was restricted due to his height.

"You can get this back when you help mommy get some Kool-Aid"

Max rolled his eyes and headed towards the juice section.

..............

After finding a few boxes of rat poison, he manages to find a few boxes left of Kool-Aid grape juice. It  **HAD** to be grape juice. Mixing rat poison with any other flavor of Kool-Aid and the colors will change drastically.

"Well I just need to buy these and I'm good to.."

"Hey you!"

He stopped in his tracks when he heard a deep voice a few meters away from him.

Daniel slowly turned his head and was relieved to find a little boy with sun-kissed skin and a black curls.

"Well hello little boy! What are yo.."

"Cut to the chase dip-shit and gimmie a box of them Grape juice"

 

Daniel's jaw dropped, did a little kid really just cuss at him?

"Excuse me little boy?"

"Are you deaf? The hearing aid section is two aisle over, I said hand over the grape kool-aid"

 

"Hey language! And why don't you get those watermelon flavored kool-aid! or something else?" He wasn't about to head to another store just to buy some kool-Aid.

Still the little boy wouldn't move

 

"I said gimie those grape juice! My mom said grape juice so I'm getting grape juice you bitch!"

Daniel started to turn his head and cracked it..he was starting to lose his patience.

"Listen you brat! Why don't you get some other flavored Kool-Aid cause you are not getting any of this do you understand you failed-aborted-fetus!"

That's when the boy's eyes started to fill with rage and murder

"YOU BITCH!!"

In a split second, the little boy jumped and started to choke Daniel with his two tiny hands.

Daniel tried to pry him off but he had a strong grip. 

 

For a second everything went black until...

"Maxwell Carter Junior what is the meaning of this?" A loud and feminine voice could be heard not far from them.

The toddler eventually let's go of the cultist and walks towards the figure.

"He called me a brat ma!"

"Well that's no reason to choke a man to death! maybe you provoked him?"

"Whatever mom"

 

Daniel slowly sat up, getting a headache from the short blackout.

"I'm sorry sir, my little boy doesn't usually attack like this..normally he would just throw paperballs at someone"

 

Daniel swept the dust off his shirt "It's fine ma'am but please control you'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..." He stopped in mid-sentence when he looked up at the figure above.

She was a beautiful red-haired woman with emerald green eyes, a busty figure, well toned legs and arms, and a nice rack. She wore a short green shirt with a picture of a tree, that hugged her chest so nicely, a yellow bandanna wrapped around her neck, and olive green short shorts that gave her hips a lovely figure.

Best part was...she was a mom.....a very thicc mom

 

Daniel tried to get his act together, but he couldn't help but drool at the voluptuous sight before hi. He was ever so grateful from the boxes of grape juice that were in front of him, hiding his 'ascending' boner.

 

"Are you alright young man?" She reached out for a hand to help him up. As she bent down he got a good look of her 'gallons of milk'

Her skin was soft and smooth, oh what Daniel wouldn't give to explore more of her.

"I'm fine ma'am" He put on his 'seductive/yet kinda creepy' smile and changed the tone of his voice to a more friendly and seductive tone (if that even exist) "And so are you" He told the young mother.

 

The mother blinked "Of course I'm fine! I haven't been tackled down" Obviously she didn't catch the pick-up line but her naive-ness just made her seem hotter to Daniel.

"My name is Daniel" he took her hand and kissed "It's a pleasure to meet you"

The red-haired mother smiled and blushed "The pleasure's all mine Daniel, I'm Daisy, I'm a Co-Counselor at CampCamp!"

And what perfect timing, Daniel needed to find a group of kids to sacrifice

"What a convenience! I'm looking for an intern at a camp!"

"Well that's wonderful! I can talk to my other Co-Counselor Gwen and see if we can get you a spot"

 

The little toddler started to make gagging noises behind them.

"Oh and this here is my pride and joy, Maxwell Junior!, say hello Maxwell!"

The toddler turned around and gave Daniel the middle finger.

Nobody said dating a MILF was easy.

"Well your son is a very healthy looking one!" Perfect to slit his throat and let his blood bleed on the floor.

"Ma, I don't think this loser is desperate enough to wanna work at the stupid camp"

"Why Max sure he does, campcamp is a wonderful place, why let'me sing a song about it!"

"Oh God mom please NO!!"

She pulled a guitar out of her ass and started to sing

_"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

_There's a place I know_  
That's tucked away;  
A place where you and I can stay  
Where we can go to laugh and play"

 

 


	2. A New Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Based on high demand, here's chapter two of Hot MILF)  
> It's been 3 weeks since Daniel met and dated the hot mother and co-counselor of CampCampbell, all that's left to is to win the approval of her son, Max
> 
> (and no this wasn't well thought out, it's just to fed you all more fanfic nonsense from my ass)

 

 

 

It's been three weeks since Daniel met Daisy, a hot red-headed MILf who works at CampCampbell, and those three weeks were heaven.

 

They would go out to dinner (Even thought it was awkward because people thought Daisy was Daniel's mom) and have hard intense sex afterwards...like..the kind of sex that made the chandelier in the bottom room fall and to keep her son, Max, pure, she forces Max to sleepover with either Neil or Nikki. Also, Kool-Aid was involved in this.

 

One Night, Daniel and Daisy were feeling  **E X T R A** horny so they made Max spend the night at Neil's for the third time this week. At first Max was excited to have a sleeppver with Neil and Nikki..until he found out the  _real_ reason why he's being sent there in the first place. 

 

He found out when he went to his mothers room to find some quarters for school lunch...when he found his mom sound asleep naked with that stupid blonde dude..was was his name again?...Dio Brando?

 

He still hated him for calling Max an aborted fetus.

 

Back to the story, Neil and Max were watching Popee the Performer while eating pizza and ice cream.

"So Max, how's it going with your mom, she seems happier than usual and THAT'S saying something!"

Max rolled his eyes "Ugh, don't even get me started! Ever since she met Daniel they've been fucking their brains out...literally!"

"but wait isn't Daniel young enough to be your brother?" Neil asked as he took a bite out of his bacon pizza.

"Yeah he is, and it's disturbing!" He stabbed his pizza with a fork "I just wish he could go away!"

"Well they probably won't last as long, I mean look at my dad and Nikki's mom! they were fucking for a while before they broke up..something about my dad getting STD's maybe you give some to Daniel"

After Max murdered the pizza he sighed "I wish my dad were here, he'd teach Daniel a lesson or two"

...T H E  N E X T  D AAAAAAAAAAAAAY......

They didn't pick up Max till close to dinner time, which would've made Max made if he and Neil weren't playing Cuphead all day.

Daisy picked up Max from Neil's home

"So honey, how was your day?" Daisy asked. For some reason Daisy was wearing something extra fancy. She had on a pwetty green dress and was wearing light makeup

"Meh it was fine but why are you dressed like that?"

"Oh that's a surprise honey (:"

Max was a little confused. Was it someone's birthday? did the new episode of Stranger Things came out WHAT!!

...........

The dinner table was covered in a plastic blanket and there was food prepared for them. Daniel looked like he was dressed to go to a wedding. Both him and Daisy were giving each other winks and giggles...it was hella creepy.

"Ok guys" Max shouted "What is this big surprise?"

Daniel looked at Daisy "Do you wanna tell him the news?" Daisy smiled "Of course!"

She took her son by the hands "Sweetie, I know you missed your father but you have to face the facts that he's not coming back" Max raised an eyebrow. What was she going with this?

"But don't worry, because soon were going to be a family!"

"Were?" Max said

Daisy nodded "Me and Daniel are going to get married!"

....

....

...

..

" **ARE YOU FREAKIN!!!!..."**

Before Max could finish his sentence, someone broke into their home by driving their monster truck into the wall..

Daniel, Daisy, and Max turned to the car

"What the fuck!" Daniel yelled

"Language" Daisy said (because no matter in what situation their in, they shouldn't cuss)

 

 

 Just then a tall bulky figure came out of the car. Someone with big ass muscles, brown hair, green scarf, and a bandanna on his forehead

 

The family had their jaws hung open..well at least Daisy and Daniel, Max was eating some bacon

The figure looked around "OH NO Rick were in the wrong dimension again!"

Another figure popped up from the car. It was an old man with blue hair, unibrow, and a white lab coat

"No shit Joseph Joestar" Then the figure looked at Max who was eating bacon

"Hey you!" he pointed at Max. Max looked up to see the old man pointing at him

"Bacon makes you fat!"

Max stopped chewing "WHAT!?"

............

Max woke up in a cold sweat. He just had a nightmare and he was still in Neil's room

"Boy maybe I should stahp eaing bacon"

 

 

THE END (:


	3. gejifngmosbk ljkvlkdmkavamkajlcnvk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit happens

"GAAH!!" Max woke up from his terrible dream...the dream where he was told not to eat bacon..OH! and uh where his mother was going to marry Daniel. He knew that this was a sign from the heavenly Roblux Gods that one day, Daisy might actually marry Daniel.

 

"Duuude! you're being noisy!" Neil groggily said

"Dude! I just saw a vision of the future!" He crawled to Neils side of the bed. Neil shook his head "What are you talking about?!"

"I mean, I just had a dream where my mom married that son of a bitch!"

"You mean Daniel?" 

"Same thing but look what matters is that WE!!" As he said we he throws and arm around Neils back "...Find a way to stop this!"

"WE?" Neil said, wriggling himself free from Max's hold "I don't wanna get in your families business!"

Max puffed "Oh yes you will! Or else!" "Or else what Max? What could you possibly.." Max cut him off mid-sentence "Or I'll block you off of Roblux!"

Neil gasped like a little girl "You wouldn't!!" Max smirked "Oh wouldn't I? remember it was I who made you get online friends"

His friend groans "FINE! but I want little to do with this as possible!"

 

The next morning, Daisy called Max saying that she would be late. Like in his dream, she didn't pick him up til later in the afternoon.

They were outside on the swing set, attempting to plan their murderous deeds..well mostly Max was.

"Alright operation Kill-The-Milk-Koolaid-Hunter commences! We need to hire a hitman!!"

Neil rolled his eyes "Max, how can you hire a hitman! We don't even know how to contact one!"

 

Just then an ice cream truck rolled by on the streets. "ICE CREAM FREE ICE CREAM FOR CUTE GIRLS!!!"

Max pointed at the truck "THAT'S OUR HITMAN!!!" He jumped off the swing and ran to the truck "C'mon NEIL!!!"

Neil's jaw dropped "Are you serious MAX!!!"

 

Max and Neil ran up to the ice cream truck. The man had dark skin, short white hair, wore sunglasses, and had a blue-ish jewel on his forehead. His name was Adam Blade and he was a known lolicon but due to the fact that the parents in this town were negligence people, they didn't care that he was driving in an ice cream truck selling ice cream to children...mainly little girls...

Luckily the ice cream business was doing poorly due to the Flower Scouts cookies being a success.

"ICE CREAM!! GET YOU're...oh HELL NO!!!" Blade made a face of disgust when he saw two young boys, and not girls, waiting at the front

 

"Hey, Pedophile, Let'me have a word with you!" Blade shook his head "Sorry, but free ice cream's only for the sexy girls" He huffed and crossed his arms.

Neil felt uncomfortable "MaAAAaaxxx this isn't a good idea!" but Max ignored him.

"C'mon dude I just wanna!"  " **NOOOOO"**  Blade shouted as he shut the window's down.

Max kicked the truck "YOU FUCKING JERK!!!"

Neil tugged at his arm "Let's go Max, we can find a hitman on Craig's List" then he walked back to his house. 

Max was about to give up..then he remembered...

"Hey Neil?" Neil turned "Hmm?"

Max gave an evil smile that will forever haunt Neil in his dreams "Maybe we should let  _Nee-Ancy_ do the talking" Neil gulped..

 

knock knock

Adam Blade opened the windows "I TOLD YOU NOT TO... _well hello there_ " Neil was dressed as a girl, with a bit of makeup and leaves for hair.

Neil was shaking "uh...hehello?" He nervously said, attempting to sound like a girl.

Adam Blade smiled eerily "Hello yourself sweetheart what's your name?"

Neil didn't wanted to speak but Max elbowed him on the back "Uh..it's Nee-Ancy!!" he blurted out 

"Nee-Ancy?" Blade said

Max came out from behind Neil "It's French and now that I have your attention freak let's talk!"

Blade rolled his eyes "Fine! but only the chick get's ice cream!"

"She'll want an oreo blizzard!" Max said, not giving Neil a chance to answer, even though he wasn't in the mood for ice cream. Blade frowned "I said the chick, Einstein, are you a chick?"

Max too felt irritated. "Um..Max you know I really don't want a.." Max elbowed him once again "DAHH! Fine! an Oreo Blizzard!"

The creeper smiled "One Oreo Blizzard coming right up Sweetie"....

 

After one long wait for an ice cream (Blade was eerily watching Nee-Ancy) He handed the sweet to Neil, making sure their hands touched "This one's on me cutey" He winked and Neil gave back a broken smile "Ttthanks mmman"

Max then spoke, in a deep country accent, like in one of those western movies "Sir...have you ever killed a man?"

Blade finally broke the creepy stare between him and Nee-Ancy to look at his ice cream partner (Who is Port Gas D Ace from One Piece) who could only get this job because his crazy grandpa wanted him to have a career in professional ice cream, and they knew that these kids were crazy.

Adam Blade motioned with his head, trying to get Ace's help on this case.

Without thinking Ace handed a black pepper shake to Adam. (Because some special kids like pepper in their ice cream)

But as soon as he picked up the pepper, some got in his face. Before he could sneeze, He suddenly fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Blade watched with widened eyes as Ace had another Narcolepsy attack. It wasn't uncommon for Ace to suddenly fall asleep out of nowhere and Blade didn't really help at all. 

In fact while Ace fell asleep, Blade would usually draw pictures of mustaches on his face with a pink sharpie. 

 

Blade's head slowly turned to the kids, Neeancy was in shock but Max remained expressionless.

The a light bulb appeared on his head.

"I haven't killed a man with my bare hands BUUUUUT!!!.." He shows Max the peeper shake "THIS! is a powerful man-killing powder that originates from the Amazon"

Max looked interested but Neil raised an eyebrow "From the Amazons?.." Nee-Ancy questiones

"Yes! it uh kills a man within an hour" He points at Ace who was in a deep slumber "SEE!! it worked!"

Max felt a twinge of hope residing in his chest "WOW! THAT'S AWESOME!!!" But Neil was having none of it

"That just looks like pepper to me!" Blade pats her on the head "Silly little girl, this is why women shouldn't be educated!" He holds the bottle in Max's face 

"What'dya say kiddo? You interested?" He waves it like some sort of secret ingredient for death.

 

"Just give it to me already!" He tried reaching and jumping for it but Blade moves his hand higher every time he almost grabs it

"Nuh-uh-ah!" Blade said "We haven't discussed the subject of payment" He chuckled

Max calmed down "Name your price.."

Blade laughed with that huge ass mouth "I want a kiss.." "A kiss?" Blade nodded and pointed at Nee-Ancy "..From her!"

 

Neil backed away "What the fuck man!"

"Either I get a kiss or no pepper uh I mean man-killing-powder-from-the-Amazon"

Neil got furious "Are you kidding me! That's just pepper!"

Max didn't care "Done!"

"WHAAAAAT!!!"

Blade smiled "Done, here's your pepper.." He turned to Nee-Ancy who was about to puke "Gimmie some sugar!"

Neil started whimpering but Max chimed in "Just close your eyes and pucker up.."

Without thinking Blade followed Max's orders and did just that.

 

"HEAD FOR THE HOUSE MAAAN!!" Max grabbed the oreo blizzard, threw it at Adam's puckering face, grabbed Neil and ran off....

...........................................

Daisy finally picked Max up around 2, and just like in his dream, she wore a fancy dress.

"Now Sweetie, Daniel and I have some news for you when you get home.."

Max chuckled "I can't wait mother!"

.......

Before Daisy and Daniel were done making out in the kitchen, Max grabbed the man-killing-powder and put a whole bunch in Daniel's mashed potatoes, then covering it with more mash potatoes to hide the black dots.

.......

"Are you ready Maxwell Junior?" Daisy eagerly said to Max, hugging Daniel's arm. They just finished dinner and Max made sure that Daniel ate every spoonful of mashed potatoes (he was probs hungry after the quick sex in the kitchen)

"OooOooHHhhh tell me the news mother" Max said trying to sound innocent as possible.

He smiled when he saw Daniel's skin turn slightly red and started to breath heavily. This was going according to Max's half-assed plans.

"Ready to hear it?" Daisy asked once again

"YES MOM SAY IT!!"

 

"We are going...." Max waited to hear them say  _going to get married..._

"TO DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

A moment of silence

"WHAAAATTT!!" Max said, then Daniel slumped over the table and passed out.

..........................................

Daisy and Max were waiting at the hospital. Daisy was worrying for Daniel's health while Max was going crazy.

_This can't be! I thought it was going to be like my dream where they were going to get hitched and the crazy man told me not to eat bacon_

He was actually planning on throwing some powder at the man who forbade him to eat bacon.

 

Just then a dark skinned Asian man with a huge golden Afro and wearing a white lab coat came in

"Mr and Mr's Junior?" He said while feeding the squirrels in his Afro cookies.

Daisy and Max got up "That's us"

The strange doctor opened the door "Hello I'm mr Bobobo-bo-Bobobo I'm not really a doctor but for some reason this dumb writer put me in as a doctor, please follow me"

..........

They were outside the room and they could see Daniel on the bed

"Oh Mr boboboboboboboboobobboboboobob" Daisy cried "Is he going to be ok?"

Bobobo stopped picking his boogers and looked at the crying red-head "What?...Oh yeah!....No he's dead" He smiled

 

Daisy broke into tears "How doctor HOW!!!!"

Bobobobobobobobobobbooboboobies looked at his paper (which had stick figure drawings) "it says here that he died from "allergic reactions to pepper.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit threw a bunch if weird scenarios in one page


	4. The True Ending

.........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and then everyone died

 

 

 

 

 

 

except Ace (Galaxy Heart)

No he didn't everyone died because he was not worthy (me)

lol Galaxy_Heart made me write this


End file.
